I should tell my sister

Photo by TOPHEE MARQUEZ from Pexels

My cousin, actually, our cousin is being messy.

He borrowed money from me, twice.

He never paid back.

The first time, it was for a business, he said he’d pay back, but he never did.

The second time, He wasn’t asking for himself, He was asking for a friend — they owed the bank a loan.

The bank was going to seize their asset at the due date, so he needed to borrow to pay the bank what he borrowed initially. Funny, right? I know. That’s why I can’t wait to see my sister’s face when I tell her this gist.

Anyway, I gave him the money. The plan was for his friend to pay me in a month or two, but as every lending story goes, there was a hiccup and he couldn’t come up with the total sum at the due date so he had to pay in parts.

“Okay, fine. Tell him to send what he has”, I said.

He sent the first half to our cousin, not to me directly, and our cousin transferred the money to me. Sigh, thank God.

Now to the other half, his friend got the money after a while, and he sent it to our cousin.

Yeah, that’s all. He sent it to our cousin, our cousin had it, but for some mysterious reason he didn’t send it to me.

I don’t want to make this about math, but If the first loan was worth x, this new one was 4x. I asked for the money but I got empty promises and stories for months, so I stopped asking. I mean, he’s our cousin, no need to be overbearing.

Surprisingly, we both seemed to have moved on. Him and I have been chatting like he doesn’t owe me any money. Every time we chat, I think “Wow, so we’re just going to act like this never happened”, but again, he’s our cousin, so we move!

When I tell my sister this story, I have to add the caveat that I’m happy he never paid the money back, because at least he won’t have the guts to ask me for money again, so hurray! One less person to lend to.

Did I already mention I don’t lend money? Not to sound cynical but I hate the back and forth when it’s time to pay back so I just made it a personal principle to not lend. I’d rather gift the money and forget about it. So, this was a special case because, the money was too much to “gift” and you know, he’s our cousin.

Fast forward 7 months after the last loan, I get a message, it’s our cousin. He narrates he is in a bind with something he’s working on, how it’s at a standstill and he needs money as urgent as that same day, for context, he’s asking for 6x the first loan.

I laugh, not out of spite, but I found it genuinely funny that he did have the guts to ask. Men are indeed bold, I love it! I tell him no (of course) — with a long kind explanation too, he says he understands, and I give him a thumbs up that symbolizes my appreciation for his understanding.

I fall asleep.

In my dream, I’m having a chat with my colleagues, and I’m telling them about this funny story I can’t wait to tell my sister, about our cousin because he really tried it. One of them says “You have a sister? How come you’ve never mentioned her”.

Then I wake up with a sharp pain in my chest and I remember,

I don’t — She died years ago.



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Douglas Kendyson

Douglas Kendyson


I complain about things (I care about) // Software engineer // Currently building Selar.co // douglas@selar.co